I'm slowly gaining focus, and with it some hope. I think I'm going to try to become Somebody.
I found out I can take the parapro test to make up for the schooling I lack and meet Title 1/ NCLB requirements to be an Educational Assistant for both regular and specialized programs. I'm pretty sure I can score at least the 455 required. Problem is that unless my district is part of the internet testing approved group, I have to wait till June to take it and will probably have to go to Portland.
I think maybe changing direction and trying to find something for myself might be what I need right now. I'll have less time to focus on all the pain.
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